Freak of Nature

I recently had a conversation with my husband, Matt, that triggered an epiphany. He insists that he is "tall". I am nearly 5'9. For a woman, that is TALL. I tower over most of my friends...maybe even some of their husbands. And my husband is certainly taller than I am. But when I think TALL (for a man), I think 6 foot 2 or 3. Anyway, we were having one of our routine debates over his tallness. Was he actually tall or merely above average? He was adamantly pushing for "Tall". I tried for middle ground: Freakishly Above Average.

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I'm married to a genius. And we made little genius babies. I don't think at the time my husband and I got married that I fully realized how intelligent he was/is. (He's pretty good at hiding it.) One day at work he was awarded a patent. And then another. And another. Now ten years later, and 13 patents under his belt, I've got a pretty strong inkling he's not just "smart". These aren't patents that you will see at 2 am on an infomercial. They're patents that you need an encyclopedia wikipedia, to translate the jargon. I used to brag (kinda like I'm doing now), whenever we received a letter in the mail about a new patent being awarded. But then friends or family would ask what the patent was for and I couldn't tell them. It's not that I'm dumb. I'm a pretty smart cookie. I was in the top 7% of my HS graduating class. I had a decent GPA in college (better than Matt's, even!), and went on to graduate school (yeah, so did he). But the point is, I worked hard, got good grades, had a good job as a statistician with Motorola. And I've always picked things up quickly. I was confident early on in our marriage that Matt and I were on equal playing fields when it came to intelligence.  But ten years later, I've had to come to terms  with the fact that I'm an imposter.   The evidence speaks for itself...  

• {Math} I was a statistician for crying out loud! But maybe not a very good one. There might be a reason why some of you in the late nineties may have switched from Motorola to a Primeco phone. (Where my ballers at?!) But I am exceptional at Pop Culture. Final verdict...above average.
• {Science} Meh. Astronomers even goofed and called Pluto a planet. Final Verdict..above average.
• {Reading/English/Spelling} Yeah, I am pretty exceptional here. Unless I'm reading one of Matt's patents. But doesn't that go back to science? Final verdict...above average.
• {Common Sense} Check. Lots of it here. Final verdict...above average.
• {Technology} Quick Learner. I had to teach myself html while I was a statistician at Motorola (they were understaffed. layoffs and whatnot). So, technology doesn't scare me. You hear that, technology? I ain't skeered of you. Final verdict...above average.
• {Cooking} I love to cook. I love food. AND I loathe mediocre food. It will ruin my day. However. You will not find me on the Food Network. My oldest daughter once suggested that I go on the cooking competition show Chopped. My husband asked her if she thought I would win. She delicately answered, "I think she would be C-H-O-P-P-E-D." But the point is she thought I was a good enough cook to compete, but not quite good enough to win. Final verdict...above average.

Do you see a pattern here? I am freakishly above average. I can make my peace with that. I may never patent anything. I may never qualify for MENSA. But I will make you a freakishly above average meal that doesn't come out of a box, serenade you with some hip-hop or TMZ factoids, and show off my husband's patents or my daughters' latest report cards.